New Firsts...

When someone close to you passes away you don't anticipate the "New Firsts". The new firsts are all of those things that are happening for the very first time without your loved one.

• First time working on a car
• First Sunday lunch
• First Monday morning
• First day back to school
• First day back in the office
• First cup of coffee
• First basketball practice with your kids
• First out to lunch
• First movie

Things that seemed so insignificant while they were here but now take on a whole new meaning. My dad was someone that I talked with on a daily basis. He usually made the first move by calling, but without fail, we chatted everyday about something. Usually something unimportant and trivial but nevertheless, we talked. The realization that those seemingly insignificant and unimportant conversations will no longer be happening leaves you with a hole in the heart. 

My mind frequently reaches for the phone to call dad because he would find this or that funny, appreciate what I'm dealing with or have an idea of how to deal with a particular situation. My brother and I laughed and cried yesterday as we worked on his car, reminiscing about dad's knack for pinpointing the obvious problem that so often easily eluded us. 

"New Firsts" aren't fun.